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I am deprived of all of this when you are not here beside me where you belong. Every moment I feel like my heart could burst from sorrowful pain. But it won’t. Being apart doesn’t kill you like it should. It should just instantly kill you and stop the pain. But merciless departure only laughs and slowly kills you through smoking and depression and binges. Death comes on soft slow wings. I can not part form you again. I’m awake and I look at your face. What a beautiful face you have. Such perfect skin. Soft robust red lips. Dark brown hair to go with your absolutely gorgeous killer eyes. I wish you would open them right now and look at me. The miserable woman that I am. Only a fleck of what I used to be. I used to be flamboyant and boisterous and outgoing and calm. Do you still see it now? If you can, you’re the only one. You were scared I would change in college, I already know the biggest change you ill ever se out of me, you’ve already seen. And you were there by my wounded side. But… how?” Charlotte was so confused. If Northern Ireland was part of the UK, why could you get an abortion in Edinburgh or Liverpool or Leeds but not Belfast or Strabane?She slid off her chair and sat beside Emma on the bed.“Emma,” Charlotte whispered. “Why are you telling me?”Emma raised her tear-stained face and looked pleadingly at Charlotte. “I can’t tell anyone else. My Mum would kill me. Fiona’s gone to London and now Deirdre’s decided she wants to be a nun, she’d probably tell my Mum to stop me even looking about an abortion”“So I’m the last resort?”Emma nodded and sobbed again, her face in her hands. Charlotte took a deep breath, raised her eyes to heaven then hugged Emma.“It’s ok. We’ll sort something out.”Charlotte gently stroked Emma’s hair while the girl just whimpered “I’m sorry” like a mantra, over and over again.Finally, the tears stopped and Charlotte found out just how fucked up Northern Ireland could get. Deirdre, Emma explained, had been swayed by the.
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